Soul Searching

It hit me yesterday when I was not invited to the final stage of a Camps Coordinator position at the Pacific Science Center, I'm lost. I thought my chance at obtaining the position were solid and I was extremely confident about the position.

I was discouraged and now I have accelerated my job search, however I spent a great deal of time in the library today looking for new jobs, but only based on what I could do and not what I wanted to do. Part of the job applications included a Starbucks application and one aspect of the application ask me all these various questions about what adjectives describe me best and what would I do in certain circumstances. The section took me a while and I realized that it took me a while because I was not quite sure who I am.

I believe I put my identity in various outlets the main one being a student, but since I do not have that identity to fall back on. Now I guess I'm seeking a new identity in my job which was the cause of my disappointment. I feel lost and not really sure who I am. I do not really have the money to go travel, so I guess I'm stuck here in Seattle to do my soul searching. I'm not sure how this is going to pan out. I guess only time will tell.

Growing up

So this one person lets call them bevon was dating this girl name belissa and after a year and some they broke up because belissa fell in love with bevon, but bevon did not feel the same way. Now bevon is being a dick and not letting go of belissa because he is immature that way and loves the single life, but still is really physical and hangs out with belissa when he has nothing else to do. He is essentially playing belissa like a fiddle and belissa is "helpless" and can't stop it from happening no matter how much she wants too. It is a really shitty situation and bevon and his immaturity is loving it.

So the breaking point from a 3rd person perspective was when I was out with both of them and after a few drinks belissa was drunk crying because of how shitty the situation is for her and bevon felt bad, but the very next day, everything was back to the way it was like nothing had ever happened.

Essentially, I do not believe bevon has ever been told straight up about how immature he is (which is probably why he has some other attitude and habit issues) and its getting to the point where I might just have to do that favor. Bevon let go and stop being a douche! Belissa is not a fiddle for you to play with.

After Graduation

I just submitted my Teach For America Application. Posted at the end is my letter of intent. This is one of the first steps in to post graduation. Probably like many other college senior, I have no idea where I will be after June 13th. I am excited and nervous.

I am always seeking to learn and my education has been a pivotal part of my life, constantly presenting challenges to overcome. The ability to achieve inside the classroom translates in to a synonymous positive attitude outside the classroom. My Mom has done everything in her power to provide the best opportunity for me to have a complete education.

I never realized how much my Mom has influenced my desire to teach until I examined the motivation behind my Teach For America application. Soon after I was born, my father divorced my Mother and we left Korea when I was two months old, for better opportunities in the America. In downtown Spokane, Washington I attended preschool and kindergarten at the YMCA while my Mom attended community college and consistently worked overtime and graveyard shifts at the post office. We lived in a one bedroom apartment, where she had to consistently quite down our neighbors so I could sleep and have energy for school. She could not afford private school, so she selected an elementary school in the suburbs despite of the hour commute because she knew the education was much better than any school in close to our home. Eventually with a new job, we moved closer to my school. Later, we moved to Beaverton, Oregon for middle and high school and now I’ll be graduating college with a B.S. in Biology, everything started with my Mom’s unending support.

Learning about the achievement gap has opened my eyes to the many children do not have the opportunity my Mom rigorously provided for me to have an education. There is absolutely no reason why poorer regions should lack in the quality of education. Intelligence is malleable; it should not be determined by one’s socioeconomic status. A teacher’s job is not to simply present information, but to foster a student’s learning by any means. My Mom is truly a blessing. She, along with countless teachers, mentors, and friends nourished my learning. I enjoy working with students and I know from my experience that I can make the same meaningful impact through their education.

Through Teach For America, I want provide the opportunity for these students to feel a sense of accomplishment through their own hard work. I want them to feel my support and my complete dedication in and out of the classroom. I want to teach biology in creative and interactive ways to increase the learning outlets for these students. I want to emphasize the lab experience by maximizing the opportunities and stretch out any budget by pursuing material donations from local companies and universities. Labs provide a means for the students to gain a deeper understanding of these topics and create an outlet for a tangible sense of accomplishment through results they can obtain and analyze. My hope is for these students to leave the classroom with the ability to think like scientists and have a yearning to learn.